Say Goodnight, not Goodbye
by Chase.M206
Summary: When Rachel loses her Fathers, she loses her reason for living and goes off the tracks. The Glee band together in desperate attempts to save Rachel and by doing so they become closer then ever. Romance ensues and friendships bloom. But isit enough?...
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Say Goodnight not Goodbye.

**Rating: **M for language and themes of a sexual nature.**  
**

**Pairing: **PuckleBerry. Other parings STC.**  
**

**Spoilers: **None. Set after Regionals.**  
**

**Summary: **When Rachel loses her Fathers, she loses her reason for living and goes off the tracks. The Glee band together in desperate attempts to save Rachel and by doing so they become closer then ever. Romance ensues and friendships bloom. But isit enough?...**  
**

**Disclaimer:** I acknowledge that I own nothing, just the plot for this story. If I did... Puck would be shirtless ALL THE TIME and dating Rachel!

**Note:** This is something I wrote a few weeks back and I've finally got the courage to upload it. So review and please be honest in you opinions. Constructive criticism is welcomed. To those who also read my other story New Experiences, I shall be updating in the next week. Also please note that I'm still very new to writing. I acknowledge that I'm not the best with spellings, punctuation and grammar, but I can't myself; I have to upload. But it's still understandable, at least I hope so. :)

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** Chapter one.**

Thursdays Glee practise began just the same as any other did. Mercedes, Kurt and Quinn all sat at the front of the class, gossiping and making snide comments about Rachel. Santana and Brittany sat at the back of the class whispering to each other, occasionally a giggle could be heard. Tina and Artie sat in their own little bubble, eyeing each other with moon eyes. Puck on guitar and Finn on drums, making random beats and fooling around. Matt and Mike have a lighthearted dance off. Mr Schuester, stood at the front of the class looking through music sheets.

And Rachel Berry sat alone, a bright smile on her face, excited for practise to begin.

Everything was going perfectly normal until a knock at the door. The door opened shortly after, and in walked Principle Figgins and Miss Pillsburry. No one thought anything of it until they noticed the pair both had matching expressions of worry and upset on their face. The groups interest perked up, and Mr Schuester worried.

The worried faces look directly at Rachel, their expressions shifting into sympathy.

This had everyone all the more interested.

Rachel was asked to leave with Figgins and Emma; Rachel refused.

"Practise has just began, I will not leave. What ever you have to say, say now."

Figgins and Emma had argued back that it was in Rachel's best interest to leave. What needed to be said shouldn't be spoke in front of an audience. Still, Rachel firmly refused to leave and demanded they tell her.

"You're disrupting our practise. Just say what you have to say." Rachel stood, a hand on her hip.

Figgins and Emma looked towards each other, a silent conversation of sorts.

"Rachel, I really wish that you would come with myself and Principle Figgins and talk about this elsewhere?" Emma had pleaded.

Rachel stood, a hand on her hip and a glare on her face. Once again she refused to leave.

Emma stared at Figgins with wide eyes. Another silent conversation began before Figgins nodded. Emma's gaze then turned to Rachel, her eyes full of sympathy and worry, and gazed straight into Rachel's eyes.

She hated to have to do this. But Rachel was stubborn and they had no chance of her leaving practise. It had too be done.

'Your fathers were attacked this afternoon, they were pronounced dead at the scene. Five males have been arrested and are currently being questioned. It's believed to be a homophobic hate attack crime. The police would like to talk to you. I'm so sorry for your loss Rachel.'

Gasps echoed around the room until if fell silent.

"My Daddy's?" Rachel whispered in despair.

Rachel's hand slipped from her hip, both hands hanging lifelessly at her sides. Her usually flawless tan skin paled. Her knees began to shake, and in just a second Rachel dropped to the floor. A scream of sheer anguish escaped her lips, and even in the awful situation it sounded beautiful, frighteningly so. No one knew what to do as Rachel's shoulders shook violently with painful sobs, as tears streamed angrily down her face, as Rachel's hands came to her hair.

Another excruciating shrilling scream came from Rachel as she began pulling at her hair. All at once, everyone rushed over to Rachel and began circling her, offering her their sympathy. Mr Schuester and Finn reached out to comfort Rachel and she began thrashing angrily in their arms. The site of Rachel's pain bringing tears to every ones eyes, but no one could look away.

"Don't touch me! Get the fuck away from me!"

Finn began backing away as Mr Schuester tightened his arms around Rachel, in an attempt to refrain her from thrashing so wildly. Puck and Matt rushed forward then. Puck took over from Mr Schuester who was having difficulty and wrapped his arms around Rachel, pulling her too him and smoothing her hair as he rocked her. Matt on the other side one arm around Rachel as he offered soothing words.

The thrashing stopped as did the sobbing as Rachel allowed the boys to hold her and she sunk into their embrace.

Rachel sat between Puck and Matt. Her shoulders still convulsed in silent sobs , her breathing rushed and loud.

"It's not them... it can't be. They're all I got..." Rachel's voice was hoarse as she whispered in the depths of despair


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Say Goodnight not Goodbye.

**Rating: **M for language and themes of a sexual nature.**  
**

**Pairing: **PuckleBerry. Other parings STC.**  
**

**Spoilers: **None. Set after Regionals.**  
**

**Summary: **When Rachel loses her Fathers, she loses her reason for living and goes off the tracks. The Glee band together in desperate attempts to save Rachel and by doing so they become closer then ever. Romance ensues and friendships bloom. But isit enough?...**  
**

**Disclaimer:** I acknowledge that I own nothing, just the plot for this story. If I did... Puck would be shirtless ALL THE TIME and dating Rachel!

**Note: **Wow, I wasn't expecting a positive response; hoping? yes. expecting? no. But thank you to those who have read, added to your favourites, put this story on alert and to those who reviewed. Although only few, it's still over-whelming. This chapter is the next day and what's going through everyones minds, sans Rachel. So remember to review, and be honest in your opinions. Constructive criticism is welcomed. To those who also read my other story New Experiences, I shall be updating in the next week. Also please note that I'm still very new to writing. I acknowledge that I'm not the best with spellings, punctuation and grammar, but I can't myself; I have to upload. But it's still understandable, at least I hope so. :)

* * *

** Chapter two.**

The next morning the Glee kids were still reeling with the previous days events.

Noah Puckerman wore a poker face and put distance between himself and his fellow team mates, he wasn't in the mood for any of their shit today. He was planning on keeping to himself that day, that was until he over heard Karofsky say one word; fag. Surprisingly Finn turned around and landed a blow to Karofsky's jaw, but to Puck that wasn't enough. So he finished the job before walking off and resuming his original plan. The memory of Rachel's agony was fresh in his mind and repeating itself. The look of sheer despair had haunted his dreams last night and was still haunting him now. Puck feels he can sort of relate to what Rachel's going through; he'd lost a parent. And while not under the awful circumstances that Rachel had, the pain was still similar. Seeing Rachel, the confident diva who didn't let anything get to her, in that state yesterday, frightened him more than he'd ever admit. Shortly after the terrible news had been broke, two detectives has came in the choir room and escorted Rachel out with them. Puck didn't want to let her go, he wished he could have went with her... Turns out Mr Schue was friendly with one of Rachel's Dads and the news had hit him too, so he sent everyone home. In the small town of Lima, news traveled fast. When Puck had arrived home he found his Mom curled up on the sofa in tears, seeing Puck, Debbie Puckerman had opened her arms to him and Puck didn't hesitate walking briskly over to her and wrapping his arms around her in comfort. His Mom had been great friends with both the Berry fathers and their deaths broke her. And for the first time since losing Beth, Puck shed a few tears of his own. He shed tears for the loss Rachel had suffered and the pain she was going through, he shed tears at seeing his Mom so broken and lost and he shed tears for the abandonment of his own Father and for the daughter who he'd never get to see grow up. At that moment, Puck craved nothing more then to know Rachel was safe.

Finn Hudson marched around school with a scowl on his usually bright face, a scowl that said 'stay the fuck away from me'. Each time someone made an attempt to strike conversation with him, he brushed them off and walked straight past them. When Karofsky made a snide remark to him about his 'faggy brother Kurt', Finn didn't think twice before swinging his fist straight to Karofsky's jaw, he didn't even wait around to see Puck finish what he started and kick the shit into Dave. Finn was angry, fuming even, an emotion that he hardly ever showed. Seeing Rachel in such pain yesterday had made him physically sick. Sadness and pain didn't suit Rachel's beautiful face, and it was painful to see it. Rachel, _his _Rachel, the girl who was so strong and head on, 'a trooper' he and Puck had once joked, seeing her in the state she was in yesterday? It was horrible, in fact there aren't even words to describe. Finn was angry with the gang that had caused this pain to Rachel, the gang who had killed her two fathers without an ounce of remorse, but most of all, Finn was angry at himself. Rachel, _his _Rachel, was in so much pain yesterday and he couldn't do a thing about it. In fact when she had started thrashing about, he had backed away like a total jackass. Of all the people in the room, _he _should have been the one who was able to comfort her, but he couldn't even do that. He knew exactly what Rachel was going through, his Dad had died when he was kid and he knew how painful it was, how much it hurt. But Rachel had lost both her Dad's, so what she was going through was double of what Finn had went through. And that pain? Finn wouldn't wish on anyone; even Karofsky. But Finn was lucky, he still had his Mom and now his Mom had Burt who was kind of Finn's new Dad. But Rachel? She had no one as far as Finn knew. He just wishes that he could speak to Rachel, or anyone for that matter, he just wanted to let her know that he'd _always _be there for her.

Kurt Hummel hid away in the library for better part of the day, he couldn't bring himself to care about the consequences if he were to get caught, what would it matter? He'd get a detention on his sparkly clean record, but that's nothing. Hell, he believed he'd deserve it. No, today wasn't about going to lessons or worrying about not going to lessons, there was so much more going on. Not to mention he's to ashamed to show his face, he could only imagine the looks of disgust he'd get and the whispers about him. 'The boy who had tortured Rachel Berry, seconds before the death of her Fathers.' The guilt he felt was over-whelming, the self-loathing, the disgust, the shame.. What had Rachel ever done to him? Nothing. That's what. He had gone out of his way to make Rachel's life horrible, and for what? A tiny bit of satisfaction? To feel that he was better than Rachel? There was no explanation for why he was so terrible to Rachel, just jealousy. He was jealous that Rachel was so confident and wasn't afraid to show her true self, he was jealous that she was crazy talented, more so then himself. But most of all, he was jealous that Rachel was a girl and able to catch Finn's attention. But is that really an excuse? Seeing Rachel so broken yesterday and brought him to tears. She had just received the worst news of her life, something he too had been on the receiving end of, and he hadn't been able to offer her one word. But it had frightened him, there was homophobic attacks happening in Lima, and two men had died. Those two men were one of his team members parents. The attack felt too close to home. Not just because he was gay, but because he too had lost a parent; his Mother. Kurt knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those lines, to lose a parent and hearing how Rachel had lost her Fathers, it reminded him of the death of his Mom. So he chose to sit in the library for the first half of the morning and cry, cry for his Mom, cry for Rachel's loss and for the shame that he felt.

Quinn Fabray had walked into school that morning in her own bubble. She had seen, but not spoke to, all the Glee members; she had seen the look of guilt that she wore on her face, on all of theirs. It appeared everyone was doing as she was, keeping to themselves, not wanting to risk talking to another and seeing the masks of guilt they each wore. She suspected everyone blamed themselves, just the slightest; she sure did. Not for the death of Rachel's Dads, but for all the torture they each made Rachel endure everyday. Quinn can't imagine what Rachel must be going through right now, luckily she hadn't had to. But she knows it's bad, seriously bad. Quinn had been abandoned by her parents when she needed them the most, transported from one friends house to another, pregnant at 16.. that had been the most painful experience of Quinn's life, and that was enough to make her want to give it up, life that is. And that? That was nothing compared to what Rachel is suffering. So she feels for the tiny brunette. What Rachel has said shortly before she was whisked away bugged Quinn more than she thought possible. 'They're all I have' Rachel had whispered, seeming so small and fragile in that second, and she was. But it was like a wake up call to Quinn. Rachel didn't have anyone. She sat and ate alone every day, despite her small friendship with Puck and Finn. Despite finally finding her Mom, Rachel and Shelby had decided to stay out of each others lifes to save complication. Quinn also recalls Rachel once mentioning that what small bit of family she had, lived in New York. Her aunt and uncle. Her Black Dads sister, who had disowned him because she didn't approve of his sexuality. Rachel didn't have no friends, nor no family. She really was alone. At that very moment, Quinn knew and accepted that she'd have to be there for Rachel, and she was thankful for that; she _wanted _to be there for Rachel. She just hopes Rachel will let her be there for her.

Santana Lopez was in bitch mode more than ever that day, and everyone knew it and avoided her like the plague. It was only 10:00am and she had already slushied four people; jocks. It was like a cycle, Finn had punched Karofsky. Puck had kicked his ass into next year. And Santana seeing it and hearing exactly what he had said, had snatched the ice cold drink out of a fellow Cheerios hand and proceeded to dump it all over Karofsky's head as he lay whimpering on the floor. The next jock had received one followed by a knee in the balls when Santana had over heard him saying to another jock (who was jock number three) that he was 'saving this boy for freaky Rachel Berry.'. And the fourth? Well that was just for the hell of it. Santana had then hid away in the Cheerio locker room and wept, she wept for her _friends _loss. Because at the moment Santana realised Rachel was her friend, she _wanted _Rachel to be her friend, and that she was going to be the best fucking friend Rachel had _ever_ had. For the first time since freshman year, Santana had felt guilt. Rachel who was always great to everyone and went out of her way to help people, was in the worst possible pain anyone could ever suffer. And fuck, that pained Santana like nothing before. Rachel of all people, did not deserve it. Seeing her so vulnerable and alone yesterday had hit Santana really hard, even in such pain, Rachel looked beautiful. Even the screams were frighteningly captivating. And for the first time, Santana _saw _Rachel, like really saw her. For when she looked into Rachel's eyes, she realised that Rachel was just like her and any other female. She was a normal girl, but no one took the time to get to know her. Instead she was made the schools resident freak. Of course Rachel was like her. But seeing her yesterday was like a slap in the face. The guilt that came with it? Fucking agonising, physically painful. Santana felt sick. What had Rachel ever done to her? Nothing, Santana just saw her as competition. That was going to change.

Brittany Smith was aware of everything going on, despite being slow. Brittany had no clue what Rachel was feeling, but she knew that it was bad. Like _really_ bad. And yesterday she had looked so alone, and Brittany knows what it feels like to be alone; it isn't nice. Poor Rachel. First every ones always really mean to her in and out of Glee. Everyday she gets slushied and bullied. And Brittany felt bad because she used to do it too, but she didn't mean to be mean like the others, that's why she always used to smile at Rachel when she was saying something mean to her; that way Rachel would know that Brittany wasn't being serious. At least that's what Brittany hoped. Brittany believes that Rachel knew that she meant no harm, because Rachel never looked upset afterwards. She'd stand shocked for a little while, but then she'd simply put her shoulders back and head to her locker before getting changed. But Brittany knows that what happened yesterday is way worse then what Rachel usually puts up with. And that made her really sad and she even cried because she didn't know how to help Rachel, and everyone except Mr Schue, Puck and Matt, just stood back and cried. Even Santana was crying, and Brittany could tell that she was really upset because Santana never cries.. In fact everyone in Glee was upset, but no one as bad as Rachel. Rachel had lost her Dad's because some mean people were, _well_, mean. So when Brittany had went home yesterday she had explained everything that had happened to her Mom and asked what she should do. Her Mom said that she'd make some cookies for Brittany to take into school with her. Brittany didn't even feel guilty about being happy at the moment. Because who could say no to cookies? Especially her Mom's, because they're the best. But when Brittany came in school, everyone ignored her, _even _Santana. Shrugging it off, she put the cookies back in her locker and decided she'd take them to Glee with her later. She hopes Rachel likes them best.

Artie Abrams immediately sleeked out Tina when he arrived at school, but finding her and seeing her look so pained, he thought it be best that he allowed her to have some time to herself. In fact, it was probably best he too had some time to himself. As he wheeled through the halls of William McKinley High School, Artie was oblivious to everything that was going on around him; his mind was elsewhere. Namely yesterday. As much as he tried to not think about it, it seemed impossible. It felt like someone had put the tape into his mind and stuck it on repeat and then ran off with the controls, in a way to torture him. Although impossible, the theory worked. Artie hadn't felt this bad in ages. Poor Rachel, as if she hadn't endure enough bullshit in her life already. Artie felt useless yesterday, and even though everyone circled Rachel, he wanted to be sat next to her, comforting her. He even debated flinging himself out of his chair, but that wouldn't end well. He couldn't help but feel guilty, and judging by the rest of his team members faces, they were too. Although Artie wasn't one of the main jackasses that made it their duty to make Rachel's school life hell, he was just as guilty. There had been times when he had joined in and offered a snide remark, and other times where he just sat back and watched, offering a chuckle in encouragement. And that's what makes him one of the worst. He had sat back and allowed it, not once attempting to help Rachel. He had allowed 'the populars' to torture one of his own. They were both at the bottom of the social food chain, they were both in Glee; he should of had her back. So as he wheeled himself into homeroom, he silently prayed that Rachel would pull through.

Mercedes Jones felt like taking herself to the carpet. How could she have been such a bitch to Rachel all these years? Mercedes was just like Rachel: a young talented female with big dreams. So why had she always treated Rachel with such hate? They were both at the bottom of the social food chain, they were both loud and confident, they both craved to be at the top, and they were both divas who wanted the same thing in life: to get the hell outta Lima freaking Ohio. Yet instead of befriending Rachel, Mercedes had been just as bad as the jocks and Cheerios and chose to torment her and make the girls life hell. When she _should _have been backing her girl up, and stood at her side. Mercedes knows why, it was because she felt threatened by Rachel; she was her competition. Girl had some crazy talent and she knew it, and Mercedes was jealous. It was just easier for her to go along with everyone else and hate on Rachel. But seeing her yesterday? Damn that had shook Mercedes. She doesn't know what she'd ever do if she lost a parent, let alone both of them. She'd be trippin' that for sure. But she'd expect and hope to have people help her through it all, but Rachel? Like she had said yesterday; she didn't have no one. Nada. That's gonna change though. From this moment, Mercedes is gonna be there for her fellow diva, she's gonna do her best to make Rachel feel safe. And if anyone got anything to say about it? Well Mercedes will be more than happy to cut a bitch.

Matt Rutherford kept his head down as he walked alone through the crowded school corridors at lunch, not wanting any attention brought to himself. He didn't want to bump into anyone and have to listen to a pointless conversation. For now, all he wanted to do is worry about Rachel. Poor Rachel, what must be going through her head. Last night, after leaving school and barricading himself in his bedroom, Matt had tried to imagine what he'd do if he were to lose both of his parents. The thought alone hurt to much. So he spent the rest of the night thinking of ways to make it up to Rachel. Poor Rachel, what she's going through right now must be so hard on her. Especially having to endure it alone. Matt was frustrated at pissed, at himself. Why did he always have to be a sheep and follow everyone else? Why didn't he ever try to stop one of his fellow jocks from tormenting Rachel? Because he's a pussy; that's why. After losing Regional's the club had seemed to grow tighter, sans one, Rachel, of course. Why didn't he make an effort then to include her, or too invite her to one of the party's? And when Mercedes had said that Mr Schue was Glee Club, that was bullshit. Rachel _was _Glee club. She was the glue that held them together, hell, she was the one who made them get this far. And no one ever stopped to appreciate her. Well screw that, whether people likes it or not, he's going to make sure Rachel feels included now.

Mike Chang sat in homeroom at the back of his class, alone. His mind reeling with what happened yesterday. Poor Rachel. Nothing in the girls life was ever easy for her. Mike kind of admired Rachel. She was strong, confident, talented and she stood up for what she wanted or believed was right. She wasn't scared to call people out on their bullshit, and she fought for what she wanted. Whereas Mike was quiet and slightly shy, he backed away from commotion unless necessary and usually agreed with everyone else instead of voicing his own opinions. So it totally freaked him out yesterday seeing Rachel look so small and vulnerable. He doesn't know what she's going through, and God he wishes he'd never have too, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't understand. His heart seriously went out to the girl. She deserved a friggin' medal for all the shit that she's had to put up with all these years, and although Mike was never one of the direct taunters, it didn't make it any easier. Mike hoped Rachel was doing okay, if only there was some way he could find out. When Rachel was finally ready to come back to school, Mike was going to be right at her side.

Tina Cohen-Chang stood at her locker; third period had just finished and she _so_ wasn't feeling going to her next class just yet. She'd seen Artie roll towards her earlier before backing away, and as selfish at it may sound, she couldn't be more thankful. At this moment of time she wanted nothing more than to be left on her own. Tina found it funny, how she and the rest of the Glee kids seemed to go out of their way to avoid each other at all costs. She knew why; no on was ready to talk about the terrible news that had been outed yesterday. Never before in her life had she wished so much that she could go back in time, then she did at this exact moment. She wished that she could go back to the first day she had met Rachel, and actually take the time to get to know Rachel, to befriend her. She felt ashamed that it had to be under these circumstances. But she knew that it was impossible. She had a lot of making up to do, and she plans to start as soon as Rachel is ready to return to school.

It was safe to say that the Glee club had done a surprisingly great job at avoiding each other. That was until Glee. Each heading from a different direction, one by one, each member of Glee entered the corridor. When they all stood, the stopped and eyed each other. Waiting for someone to speak up, no one did and the silence was frightening. That was until a loud bang caught each of their attention. Everyone looked to where the bang came from and were stunned and what the saw.

Rachel Berry barged through the main entrance wearing a little black dress, a tan cowboy hat and matching boots. As she stumbled clumsily over the place, everyone became aware of what she had in her hand. In one hand a tan handbag, in the other, a large bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa guys!" Rachel hiccuped, frowning when she noticed the tension. "What's crawled up your asses and died?" Rachel giggled.

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Sorry for any errors. I hope that you all enjoyed reading this chapter, and I hope I was able to keep everyone in character. :)


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